Being a parent and a working Mum meant that I was playing tag team child care with my partner.
So, when the other person left the family home, I was left in a predicament.
trying to get child care to cover a 4am start is not so easy, it's understandable why people stay in toxic relationships for this reason.
However, reconciliation was not an option, so I reached out for help from my children's school, and I was given the idea of live-In help.
We've all heard of older people having live-In support, and generally Home Share Support Match is aimed towards that market, helping to maintain independence.
I am so grateful that they could also help my 3 children and I with a wonderful match with an amazingly understanding and compassionate young Lady helping me with 15 hours of support per week, doing the most stressful task for any carer of children, that morning school run!
Yes, we had our settling in period, and I was grateful for having the Charity facilitate ensuring that both parties were cohabiting well, sometimes it is necessary to have that 3rd party perspective.
I highly recommend this Charity. www.supportmatch.co.uk
And I am proud to support them, as someone who has been a landlord, I understand the challenges that can arise, especially the emotional adjustments that comes with accepting help. when you are a person who identifies as being independent and strong, it can feel massively uncomfortable to ask for help - feeling like a sign of weakness.
It can also be an overwhelming undertaking to start looking for support too!
Often, people who have been isolating for a long time, either through the grief of loss, or from the controlling behaviours inflicted by abusive partners, find it difficult to reconnect, Going on that journey of re- identifying 'who' you are and future casting what you want and need your life to be moving forward, when you maybe have never done that for yourself before, involves a lot of neurological recalibration.
I experienced cognitive dissonance, through this time of change, so I was more than grateful to have the support of my live-in match!
There are five primary types of cognitive dissonance:
-Post-decisional dissonance,
-Dissonance from wanting something we can't have,
-Dissonance due to inconsistency between attitude and behaviour
-Dissonance due to inadequate justification
-Dissonance due to inconsistency between commitment and information.
It is important to have someone to support you, if you would like it to be me I would be honoured to share in your journey. Please reach out.
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